Toast

Yes, I'm toast. We just got back from the hospital - mom fell again. No breaks but we got there at 6:30 and they discharged her a little before midnight. We did find out that she has an urinary tract infection and her sodium was low. But she's very sore. I'm hoping she'll go on to sleep. Oh, before I forget, she fell again when she was almost to the bed - my neighbors had to come and help Bebo and I get mom onto the bed. Anyway, I'm too tired to post more - but let me repeat - she didn't break anything. Going to bed now - it's going to be a long night. And yes, for some reason I have internet this evening. Go figure.

My Philosophy of Housecleaning

Susan sent me this: Thanks chickie.

MY PHILOSOPHY OF HOUSECLEANING!

I don't do windows because ...
I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
I don't wax floors because ...
I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terrible ( plus they may sue me.)
I don't mind the dust bunnies because ...
They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.
I don't disturb cobwebs because ...
I want every creature to have a home of their own.
I don't Spring Clean because ...
I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous
I don't pull weeds in the garden because ...
I don't want to get in God's way, HE is an excellent designer!
I don't put things away because ...
My husband will never be able to find them again.
I don't do gourmet meals ...
when I entertain because I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.
I don't iron because ...
I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press".
I don't stress much on anything because ...
"A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!!

And don't forget that it's still giveaway weekend. Go to Friday's post and enter - a name will be drawn tonight. Then check back tomorrow to see if you won.

I've Been Tagged

Toni got me, which was okay since I had planned on doing this one anyway - she just gave me an excuse to get it done.

1. When did you first start blogging?
August 18, 2005 (yes, I have a blogging anniversary coming up). It was over at Yahoo 360 and was a bust. Too many problems with commenting. Then I moved to Bravenet - which was okay (I still miss the smilies), but that bandwidth thing drove me nuts. I just looked at my first blog entry - As the primary caretaker for my mother who has Alzheimer's I have a lot of free time on my hand, which can lead to mischief, so it was either hit the streets or start my own blog. Man, those were the days - free time? What's that? So much has changed in a year.

2. What don't you talk about?
Like a few others, I don't talk about religion or politics. I am political and I am a Christian. I know that the Bible says to be evangelists, but I also know and respect the fact that not all of my readers share my views. As you well know, I'm non-confrontational and I would never want to purposefully post something that I know could cause someone to get hurt feelings or "say" something they shouldn't.

3. Are you and your blogging persona the same person?
This is a twofold answer. Depends upon how well I know you, or how you are receptive to a few of my comments. I think, basically, if you strip away my agoraphobia/social anxiety, then yes, I'm the same. I do have the same sense of humor. I try to be as compassionate in person than I am on the blogs.

4. How do you use blogging to build friendships?
Without my blogging pals I would be lost - utterly alone a huge percentage of time. I try to be just as involved in their lives as I hope they become in mine. By reading their posts and actually absorbing what they say or are trying to say I hope to convey the sense that I'm really interested, because I am - the same way I would be in person.

5. How would you describe your writing style?
There's a style? I really have no idea how to answer that. What do you think?

Don't forget the giveaway - look at Friday's blog for books in backlist. Also, those of you who chose any Jill Shalvis book, please tell me which ones on the list that you have already read so in case I pick your name I'll know what to send. Brandy - The Detective's Undoing and The Rancher's Surrender were the two first books that I read of Jill's. That's what got me started - so I guess you could say they were good enough to make me want more. They go together, so if you haven't read either and your name is picked, I'll send you both.

Posting early as I have things to do before 8 and who knows what the big bad internet boogy man will do tonight. And yes, I did contact them (by email) - I had to do it that way because I tried to call but mom kept interrupting me.

Green Eggs and Spam

I will not open them in the dark, I will not open them in a park, I will not open Green Eggs and Spam, I will not open them, Sam I Am. (Sorry Doc)

U.S. Government’s New State of Colorado development. (They’re making a new state of Colorado? What’s wrong with the old one?)
Herb wants to know why you are annoyed? (Well if they’re going to start making new states, couldn’t they start with Oklahoma?)
Remodeling your house? Not enough in your budget? (No it’s okay. I had a garage sale and sold a lot of alarm clocks)
We should be able to help you. (If you could get me some more alarm clocks, that would be a big help)
Big upheaval in pink sheets, pay attention to the message. (Nothing, I just thought y’all just needed to know that there was a big upheaval in pink sheets. So if you have any, beware.)
Get a dick longer than your legs with Penis Enlargement Virility Patch PX. (Changes the meaning of peg leg)
Stop being embarrassed. (Wouldn’t you be embarrassed if your dick was longer than your legs?)
Avoid enhancement pills. (Don’t need them, my dick’s longer than my legs already. What do you want, the Eiffel Tower?)
Need some help? (No, I was just wondering if it would look better in cowboy boots or sneakers.)
Salvador wants to know what went wrong NOW? (Not a thing, unless you think having a dick longer than your legs is a problem.)


Giveaway Friday:
I'll draw a name on Monday

Shalvis:

Hero for Hire (Trueblood Texas)
Blue Flame
White Heat
Roughing it With Ryan (Temptation)
The Rancher’s Surrender (Intimate Moments)
For the love of Nick (Temptation)
The Detectives Undoing (Intimate Moments)
Come Fly with Me
Chance Encounter (Temptation)
The Bachelors Bed (Tempation)
Seduce Me (Temptation)
Men of Courage (w/Lori Foster and Donna Kauffman)
Men of Courage II (w/ Lori Foster and Donna Kauffman)

Anthologies:

Perfect for the Beach by Janelle Denison, Ericn McCarthy, MaryJanice Davidson, Kayla Perrin and Morgan Leigh
Man of My Dreams by Sherrilyn Kenyon, Maggie Shayne, Suzanne Forster and Virginia Kantra
Bad Boys to Go by Lori Foster, Janelle Denison and Nancy Warren
Bad Boys Over Easy by Erin McCarthy, Jen Nicholas and Jordan Summers
Bad Boys on Board by Lori Foster, Donna Kauffman and Nancy Warren

Fantasy/Paranormal:

Sword of Darkness by Kinley MacGregor
The Bitten by L.A. Banks
Hunting the Hunter by Shiloh Walker
Bitten and Smitten by Michelle Rowen
Mortal Danger by Eileen Wilks
Broken by Kelley Armstrong
Dates from Hell by Kim Harrison, Lynsay Sands, Kelley Armstrong and Lori Handeland

Contemporary:

She Drives Me Crazy by Leslie Kelly
Charlie All Night by Jennifer Crusie
Manhunting by Jennifer Crusie (original Temptation edition)
Strange Bedpersons by Jennifer Crusie (original Temptation edition)
Crazy for You by Jennifer Crusie
Hush by Jo Leigh (Blaze)
Summer Lovin’ by Carly Phillips

Romantic Suspense:

Code of Honor by Catherine Mann
Lie by Moonlight by Amanda Quick
Unspoken Fear by Hunter Morgan
Sleeping with the Agent by Gennita Low
Bad Attitude by Sherrilyn Kenyon
Impulse by Joann Ross

FYI

If you are looking for Spam, it will be here. Because of problems with the internet I may not be able to post it tonight. But I guarantee it will be here after 8:00 a.m. central time. Thanks for your patience.

Woe is Me

*big sigh* I'm never going to get this study done. You've been awfully patient about seeing the after pictures though, thanks. I didn't work on mom's room either. No housecleaning, finished my blogging about 1:00. I didn't take a nap - haven't been sleeping well at night, so thought that might help. Wait, I kind of lied here, I did do two loads of laundry, changed mom's bedding, packed up newspapers for recycling, emptied the dishwasher and filled it up - that's why it took until 1:00 to finish my half a list blogging. But other than that - what have I been doing?

"Playing Spider Solitaire?" Shirley, the Queen of Procrastination, asks.
"Not today."
"Watching nubile young men on TV?" Michele wonders.
"Sounds good, but no."
"I know, I know." Brandy, waves her arms like Horschack.
"Hush sweetie, let them guess."
"Getting geared up for the upcoming football season?" Scott pipes in.
"I've got to do that, but no, not this time." *smiles mysteriously*
"Reading?" Toni, who has a book coming out in print in December, asks.
"That's for bedtime."
"Give it up wrench, or we're storming the castle." Raine, who's trying to rain down on my parade.
"Okay, okay. I wrote 1, 715 words. That's One Thousand, Seven hundred and fifteen words. That's 3,085 words this week. I thought you'd understand."

Posting early in case that stupid internet knocks me off around 8:00 like it does every night.

Falling

One and a half hours sleep, a foot doctor appointment and a small emergency this morning has thrown off my entire day. I’ve only managed to get through the “Mi’s” on my blog list, so we’ll see if the internet holds up after mom goes to bed so I can finish.

The small emergency. Well, I was getting mom ready to go to the doctor’s and she sat on the bed, only she sat too close to the edge and slid off onto the floor. You have to understand that my mom weighs around 183 lbs and all of that is dead weight. One hip is immobile and both legs are riddled with arthritis, so she can’t help me at all. Furthermore, the Alzheimer’s prevents her from fully understanding the simplest of instructions, so my getting her up by myself was impossible. I tried the neighbors house as there are two young strapping gentlemen living there (I think Stephen is 16 and Brian is around 20 – I’ve known them since Stephen was in diapers). No go – those two boys could sleep through an elephant stampede. So I had to call 911. And would you think that at least one of those firemen would be young and sexy? No chance. Mom is okay, btw. Anyway, they got her up and I had her rest for a while before attempting the dressing thing again. While they were in the room it became apparent that that dresser has to go – there would have been no way to get an ambulance gurney next to her bed. So, once again, I’ll have to put-off finishing the study to work on emptying out her chest of drawers and transferring clothes to her dresser. Then we have to get that sucker out of there. Doctor’s appointment went well, and she was up for the day. That only left time for a short nap and I am exhausted, hence this early post, since her bedtime is 8:00 and I can't guarantee an internet connection after that. I have to call them tomorrow. No reading for me either as I’m going to try to get to bed as early as I can. I also don’t think I’ll get any writing done tonight.

If It's Not One Thing ...

it's my mother.

I’ve been itching to get writing, but things keep popping up with mom. We’re pretty sure that she won’t be leaving the room much anymore, so this is going to require a few more days of shifting to get things settled, but I can hear my characters calling. I’ve also just about had it with this internet. I’m typing this on word right now in the hopes that I’ll be able to cut and paste it either late tonight or early in the morning. I say early, but the way things are going it won’t be until after 8:00 central time. The other night I waited to put up the blog and the internet still wasn’t available even after midnight. I’m not staying up that late tonight, so if it’s not ready by 10:00, then I’m off to bed.

Anyway, I’ve had some ideas of things to do above my desk for inspiration. I have two bulletin boards – on one I’m going to put up the characters of my various WIPs, and if they all fit on one board, then the other will be either potential characters or things that inspire me for writing. I also have a few book flaps that I plan to frame and hang up there too.

So, what inspires you? If you’re not a writer, then what pushes you to accomplish the things you like to do?

UPDATE: I went ahead and left the thing about the internet and posting so you'll know that if you show up one morning and the blog hasn't changed, to come back later because I'm just having trouble with the damn thing.

Take a Seat, Set a While

That's my new chair - isn't it great! I love it. It's enormous, I feel like Edith Ann (and if I have to explain that then just go google it), if I sit all the way back my feet don't touch the floor. My little personal fan because mother is always cold and I can't turn on the ceiling fan - and that room is hot, a tray for my drink, that's a little lap desk on the floor leaning against it - for doing crossword puzzles and stuff. The dresser you can see a little of on the right will be moved out into the garage as soon as I get it cleaned out and ready, plus make a space in the garage which I plan to do Monday morning while it's cool. Even though I'm not done with the study, I need to do this now so that as soon as I can find someone to help me, it can be moved. It's a heavy sucker - my parents bought it either in the late 50s or early 60s so I guess it's an antique now. There's a mirror attached which will probably have to be removed before moving. Anyway, it's not something Susie and I can move on our own. But the chair was bigger than I thought (or the space was smaller than I remembered), so I have to make more room - I have a bedstand that I wanted to put between mom's bed and the chair, that trays too unsturdy for a cat household. One jump and any drink I have up there would be on the floor. Also, mom can't get into the bed on that side.

The week went fairly well, but I didn't get as much done as I would have liked. The heat was so bad that I literally couldn't work after lunchtime - approximately 4 1/2 hours of work each day (not all on the study). Getting mom's room ready for the chair, moving stuff around - and you know, everytime you move something you have to clean where it was ... sort of like if you give a mouse a cookie. No writing, but I knew that would probably be a long-shot, but I did get some reading done. There's a new review over at Isn't it Romantic, go check it out.

When my new laptop gets here I'll be able to blog while sitting with mom, but until then I've decided that I'll have to divide my list up - half one day, the other half the next - that's the only way I can do it without giving up any blogs. That should only be for a week or so since my cousin JOAN is supposed to send it on Monday.

It's almost 9:00 now and if I want to get any reading done tonight I need to get going. Next up on my TBR is Sasha White's Bound.

Proof of Blond Intelligence

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. Ellen, a very attractive blonde woman from Bradenton, Florida, arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."With that, she stripped to the waist, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Southern Girl needs new clothes!"As the dice came to a stop Ellen jumped up and down and squealed . "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching" Moral - Not all Southerners are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

Ahhhhhhh

There's a cold front coming - get out the heavy coats, marshmallows and hot chocolate. WhooHoo. Oh, well maybe not, but it will be cooler - lower 90s and a chance of rain.

I've discovered that I have a hardwood floor in the study. It had been so long that I'd forgotten. LOL I'm still working on it and hopefully by the middle of the week I'll be able to make some kind of review. I hate to show it when it isn't done, but it'll be a few weeks before I'll be able to get out and buy the last touches, so why not.

Writing - not a happening thing this week, neither was sleep, but the cleaning has gone well, so one out of three ain't bad. I'm still working on the blogging thing, and if my cousin Joan comes through with the laptop I think I have it figured out. See, I already have a networking system - all I'll need to do is get a thingymabob (love my technical talk?) to attach to it and I'm off and running. I can blog while I'm sitting with mom!

Guess this is all for today - I know, such an inspired post, but we all have days like this.

Baked Spam

I’m sorry this is late, but I stayed up until 2:00 a.m. and still couldn’t get onto the internet, so I gave up. Like most mornings this week, I also can’t get on until close to 8:00 a.m. This, of course, can be irritating to my late-night readers. The only thing I can think of (without actually calling the internet company because that would be the logical thing to do) is that because of the heat people are only getting on their computers early in the morning or late at night. Bebo is having the same problem. I’m also putting off calling because a) phone calls put me in a panic and b) half of the time it’s someone in a foreign country that I can’t understand. So anyway, here’s today’s spam.

Open something new for yourself. (Okay, I’ll start with the next spam message)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock. (That’s what I get for trying something new)
What would you say about this? (What I’ve always been saying. The neighbors are morons.)
Question. (What now?)
Oh, you are not able to control your feelings! (What do you mean by that? Are you trying to say I’m a hot head? Why you freakin’ little piece of …)
Would you like to be able to hold a brick on your dick? (Are we back to this? Here’s the thing – I’m a woman. But if I were a man ... um, no.)
Well it’s up to you. (It is? Wow, a heady sense of power has come over me.)
Decide yet? (Yeah, strong dick or not, I think I'll keep what I have.)
Proof of blonde intelligence. (I’m not blonde, and I’ve never seen any proof.)
Once my friend and I decided to bet who can sleep with more women in one week. (My money’s on George Clooney.)
Here you go. (What? George Clooney?)
Gimme your thoughts on this. (I have lots of thoughts about George Clooney and I’m not about to share them with you.)
Having bought a watch here you’ll enjoy checking the time. (That’s something the neighbors can’t do.)
Get out of the house. (Really? Can I? All Right!!!)

But this is the best. I got an email from Jesus and it said Wowza? See, Jesus likes my spam too. LOL

Also, please be thinking about Siobhan whose cat Charlie has gone missing.

Huh?

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her
and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she
prepared tea. As he sat facing her old organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass
bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but it got the better of him and He could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh,yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."

Bubba Has Become a Basketcase

I blame the heat.

You know you’re in Texas in July when …

Your bathtub has been declared a natural hot spring.

Even with the A/C on, your lip balm in your bed stand is a messy puddle.

You spend hours trying to figure out a way to get the recliner and TV in to the freezer.

You see lizards running around with little a/c units stuck on their backs.

You begin to see desert mirages in your living room.

When you crack an egg, it’s fried before hitting the sidewalk.

The words “Is it hot enough for you” are grounds for divorce, assault with a deadly weapon, hangin’, etc.

Ice cream trucks are always given the right-of-way.

Some Missing Links

Just a couple of places to go for a little fun:

This first one came from Ruby: Click here for a very amusing article.

Then Bebo sent me this great link that I had so much fun with. It didn't matter if you purposefully added the numbers wrong, it gave you what would have been the right number. Go, have fun. Very, very spooky - I mean goosebumpy.

Did I tell you I have an up-coming giveaway of Jill Shalvis books? I thought I had told you that I had an up-coming giveaway of Jill Shalvis books. Hmmmm, well, I have a giveaway coming up of new Jill Shalvis books - Aussie Rules and Bad Boys Southern Style. Details later.

Y'all keep behaving and I'll be happy. I am so wrung out with cleaning and this 108 heat index temp.

Blog Break

I've got to take another break from blogging. I'm trying to get things set up with mom, organize my life, see about writing and I'm not able to do that with my current blog schedule. With all of the blogs that I visit, I'm spending 1 and 1/2 to 2 hours each morning just blogging and that's not working. So I'm taking this week to rearrange things and see how I can fit everything into mom's life. My life revolves around her right now and I have very little time for myself. I will post (especially Spamarama Friday), but you won't see me out in the blogosphere (not even Jill's *sob*) until next Monday, July 24. This does not mean that during breaks I won't lurk here and there - so y'all behave yourselves. Maybe I'll do the first part of my list one day and the second half the next day - rotate it? I'll see, because I'm not dropping any of my blogs, I enjoy you too much. Anyway, continue to drop by because I will have something here - be it jokes from my email file, an update as to where I am in this rearranging phase, or even *gasp* pictures of a finished study. (yes, the study still isn't finished, I'm tired of climbing over boxes.) I will try to answer emails though. So y'all behave, have fun, take care and I'll see you next Monday.



BTW - I have a couple of giveaways coming up involving The Shalvis - just to whet your appetite a bit. More next week.

Home Remedies

Got this from Michele.

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting thetoilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 andDuct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use theWD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..........THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT.....THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS

In a Word

Stole this from Sandy, who I think stole it from someone else - so I'm more the receiver of stolen goods than the thief. *gg* (italics means ditto on Sandy's answers - although no one could match her favorite weather. LOL)

1. Yourself: frazzled
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend: invisible
3. Your hair: brunette
4. Your Mother: asleep
5. Your Father: deceased
6. Your Favorite Item: computer
7. Your dream last night: forgettable
8. Your Favorite Drink: Soda
9. Your Dream Home: Library
10. The Room You Are In: Study
12. Your fear: homeless
13. Where you Want to be in Ten Years? published
14. Who you hung out with last night: work
15. What You’re Not: prejudiced
16. Your Best Friends: priceless
17. One of Your Wish List Items: Laptop
18. Your Gender: Female
19. The Last Thing You Did: blogged
20. What You Are Wearing: t-shirt
21. Your favorite weather: Cold
22. Your Favorite Book? Her Sexiest Mistake
23.Last thing you ate? Spaghetti
24. Your Life: overwhelming
25. Your mood: so-so
26. The last person you talked to on the phone: Bebo
27. Who are you thinking about right now? Hugh

Spam ... yada, yada, yada

Happy Belated Birthday Tori!!!!!!!!!!

Now, on with our show:

Increase the number of your mates (that won't take long ...)
How are you? (Fine thank you. And yourself?)
Penis Enlarge Patch can make you dick bigger than the Eiffel Tower. (Wanna bet?)
Your neighbors lost their alarm clock (I don't have time for this. You see, my dick is suddenly larger than the Eiffel Tower and ...)
Are we able to help? (I don't know, are you? You wouldn't happen to have an alarm clock and some superglue, would you?)
Talk to you later today (See, start walking around with a dick larger than the Eiffel Tower, and people start trying to avoid you.)
What did she tell you? (Nothing, she said she'd talk to me later. Why? Are you guys planning something?)
Raiders hostile takeovers targeting (Hold on a minute. No hostile takeovers. I'll hand over the Eiffel Tower)
Heya, this it or not? (What, the alarm clock or the dick?)
I will call you in 1 - 3 hours. (I don't care what you say, I'm not paying any ransom for that dick)
Pout (Go ahead and pout, not going to do you any good. And not only that, but your lip will stay that way)
Man, they're taking over. (Tell me about it)
Your health, nurse balloon (Thank you, doctor blimp)
This is genious! (Thank you. Just a little routine I have on Fridays)
I've found a friend (Okay, just don't tell those Raiders, they might want it back)
Is someone looking for someone like you? (Honey, there isn't anybody like me)


On another note, Brandy's cat Squeekie is still missing. Continue to keep her in your thoughts.

Teach Me to Open My Mailbox

Dear Bailey,

May I start by saying we all love your new name, but I have a question. Bailey? Isn't that the cat's name? Anyway, I've been asked to write to you because it's no secret that I'm your favorite, after all you have a hard time writing for Skye. Nate tried to tell me that he was your favorite first, but I reminded him that he was getting a little long in the tooth, the gray popping out here and there - it was time for some new blood. Of course we got into a little fight, but hey, that black eye looks good on him. But I digress, the gist of this little note was to tell you that we understand you've been having some problems with your mother and we've been patient, but there's only so many trips one can take to the Bahamas and we want our stories told. You're tired, overworked, a bit overwhelmed, but maybe you could manage at least a page a day. Come on, a page isn't a lot to ask. Would it help if I got nekkid again?

Yours Truly,

Jordan

Dear Jordan,

I picked out the name Bailey Stewart a long time ago and the cat is only 1 year old, so I came first. I just looked at him and decided that he looked like Bailey's Irish Cream. End of that story. And you know you're my favorite, but you really shouldn't tease Nate like that, he doesn't have much of a memory you know so we should be kind to him. Thank you for being patient, I'm sorry to have neglected you all, but you're right, life has gotten a little tough around here. Your suggestion of a page a day isn't that outrageous and I'll give it a try.

Kisses,

Bailey

P.S. yes, getting nekkid would help, thank you.

Edit: Hugs and prayers to Brandy who's cat Squeekie is missing.

Ignore Me

Don't read this. I have to update my photo and the only way I know to do that is to post the picture. I'm gradually getting close to my actual age. I'm around 35 in this photo, as opposed to 21 in the old one. Anyway, now it's posted ... hey! Why are you reading this, I told you not to. You see, that's the trouble, you just don't listen to me.

This isn't Monday

Okay, here's the post that I started Sunday night for Monday - hey, I'm only a couple of days late.

First, big congratulations to Kelley who has sold her short story Dream Man to Forbidden Publications for their Forbidden Delights line. Way to go Kelley!!

Secondly, Stacy's book is out for sale:

The Theory Of Love Stacy Dawn
Rosette
Abbey’s doubts about her friend’s sparks and fireworks theory only grow when a set-up date turns into a no-show dud. Vowing never to let her friend set her up again, the last thing she expects is a jean-clad dancing plant putting the theory to the test.

Wild Rose Press


As soon as that laptop gets here (hi Joan) I'm going to buy this. I'm really looking forward to reading it.

National Cheer Up Day

Today is National Cheer Up Day, so I’m here to cheer y’all up – isn’t that loverly? Actually, I had a blog planned for yesterday, but we know how that went, so Monday’s blog will have to wait until Wednesday. In the meantime, here’s some funnies (and some of my famous groaners) to cheer you up – and remember, cheer someone up today! Oh, and I’m feeling a bit better, thank you.


A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well
groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good
after shave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into an upscale
cocktail lounge.
Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties).
The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes
a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?

******

A young man was driving up a steep, winding and narrow mountain road. Going round a tight corner, he notices a woman driver who is coming in the opposite direction begin to lean out of her window. As they pass each other she yells at him - "PIG!!!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and screams back at her, "WITCH!!!" Each continues on their way, and as the man rounds the next bend he crashes into a pig, right in the middle of the road... If only men would listen.

******

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were camping in the forest. They had gone to bed and were lying beneath the night sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?" "I see thousands of stars." "And what does that mean to you?" Holmes asked. "I suppose it means that of all the planets in the universe, we are truly fortunate to be here on Earth. We are small in God's eyes, but should struggle every day to be worthy of our blessings. In a meteorological sense, it means we'll have a sunny day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?" "To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."

******

In an ancient monastery, a new monk arrived to dedicate his life to God and to join the others copying ancient records. The first thing he noticed was that they were copying by hand books that had already been copied by hand. He had to speak up. "Forgive me, Father Justinian, but copying other copies by hand allows many chances for error. How do we know we aren't copying someone else's mistakes? Are they ever checked against the originals?" Father Justinian was startled. No one had ever suggested that before. "Well, that is a good point, my son. I will take one of these latest books down to the vault and study it against its original document." He went deep into the vault where no one else was allowed to enter and started to study. The day passed, and it was getting late in the evening. The monks were getting worried about Father Justinian. Finally one monk started making his way through the old vault, and as he began to think he might get lost, he heard sobbing. "Father Justinian," he called. The sobbing grew louder as he came closer. He finally found the old priest sitting at a table with the new copy and the original ancient book in front of him. It was obvious that Father Justinian had been crying for a long time. "Oh, my Lord," sobbed Father Justinian, "the word is 'celebrate'!"

******

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel in Florida, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter on the address and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a loud scream, and fell to the floor in a faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room, and saw this note on the screen: DEAREST WIFE: JUST GOT CHECKED IN.EVERYTHING IS PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW.P.S. SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE...

Stressed

Everything has gone to my stomach and it's cramping bad - among other things. It's agony to sit here but I didn't want to disappear without something. I'll be back when I feel better. Thanks for all of the kind words and support.

Hugs.

These are the pictures I wanted to post with the story about mom and her sister the other day, but blogger wouldn't let me. That's mom on the right in the older photo, and on the left in the newer one.

I'm hoping to get a Sunday out, keep your fingers crossed.

s-CAT-urday

This is one of the cat tents that Brandy sent to my babies. Bubba loves to sit in it. Bailey (the cat people, not me - I wouldn't fit *gg*) likes to run across the room and dive in, causing the tent to slide across the floor.

Bailey is my water baby. This is mom's bathroom (I'm just itching to redecorate this flashback to the 60s/70s) and the faucet in the sink has a little leak. He loves to sit in there and get wet. Go figure. We were wondering why he would show up all wet. I mean, we're used to his paws and front legs being wet because he puts them in the water dish, but the water on his back was a mystery until we discovered this. He thinks he's in trouble, so as soon as I started snapping pictures he was out of there.

Mom spent Friday in bed again. Oh well, at least I had Thursday. I'm a bit sad because I know there will be less and less days like that. Have a great Scaturday folks and think about me in that dusty, sweaty bookstore today. At least it's only half a day.

Do You Know What Time It Is?

It's spamarama time!

But first, a little bit about Thursday. Sorry I wasn't around and didn't make it to other blogs, BUT mom had a great day! She was up the entire day and didn't go to bed until 10:00 this evening. I stayed with her in the other part of the house (her watching TV, me cleaning the kitchen and rearranging the dining room - yes Susie and Glenice, rearranging the dining room - plus two loads of laundry). I fully expected her to go to bed when I went off for my nap, but no, she was still up when I woke up 3 HOURS LATER. Anyhoo, back to what you're here for:

Stuff in my bulk file:

Never seeen stuff I think, yes (Nope, I've never seen the stuff you think.)
Need a call soon (Here's a quarter, call someone who cares)
Do you want to do something useful in your life? (What, you mean other than talking to spam?)
Miss you and need you (Well isn't that sweet. I missed you too)
If you have always dreamed of being called a sex machine (Oh yeah, that's right up there with winning the lottery and getting it on with Hugh Jackman)
No nonsense report (I can report that there's no nonsense here)
Order status, opium poisoning (What order, ecstasy polluter?)
Your PR man is back THURSDAY (Oh goody, I've needed some good PR)
You money, pea green (Thank you fuchsia)
I am so very concerned about Monday (Why? What's happening on Monday? Don't leave me like this!)
You neighbors lost their alarm clock (You know, this is really starting to bug me)
Illegal investigation (You mean it's illegal to investigate lost alarm clocks?)
Shoe inquisition (Oh no, no inquisitions about shoes until we've stopped this alarm clock nonsense)
Your current residence update (My residence is fine, check next door)
We have what you need (Then hand it over lame brain)
You can get the watches you have dreamed about (Can they also work as alarm clocks, because I'm sure my neighbor has been dreaming about them.)

Interesting Day

Alzheimer's vs. Senile Dementia

"When I go to work tomorrow ..."
"You don't work anymore."
"I don't?"
"No, you're retired."
"I'm not retired."
"Yes you are. I'm 83 and I'm retired."

"When I go to work tomorrow, I'll go to the end of the drive and the man will pick me up."
"You don't work anymore. What man?"
"I don't?"
"No, you're retired. What man?"
"I'm not retired."
"No man picked you up."

"I'll get up in the morning and get dressed for work."
"You don't work anymore. You're retired."
"I am?"
"I'm 83 and I'm retired."
"You should be."

"I go across the street to work"

"You don't work"

"I don't?"

"No, you're retired."

"I am?"

"Yes, I'm 83 and I'm retired."

"No man picks you up?"

"No."

"I'm sorry."

Thus went a half-hour conversation between my mom and her sister. I now know exactly how old my aunt is. Sorry about the change in the spacing - I didn't do anything different, blogger did that.

Welfare Applications

I was planning a totally different post, but two days of no a/c has taken it's toll on me - asthma is really bothering me tonight. I've already used my inhaler, but, as I'm still having trouble breathing, I think I'm going on to bed.

For those unfamiliar, Welfare payments are made in the U.S. to individuals and families with income below a certain level. The following quotations are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare Department in applications for support of receiving payments.

- I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had seven but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.
- I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?
- Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited regularly by the clergy. - I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?
- I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.
- This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it.
- Please find for if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't do anything until he knows.
- I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.
- In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory. - I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see.
- My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.
- Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.
- You have my changed little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?
- I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.
- I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.
- In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

Born on the Fourth of July

Without Freedom of Thought there can be no such Thing as Wisdom; and no such Thing as Public Liberty, without Freedom of Speech.Benjamin Franklin, writing as Silence Dogood, No. 8, 1722

Liberty must at all hazards be supported. We have a right to it, derived from our Maker. But if we had not, our fathers have earned and bought it for us, at the expense of their ease, their estates, their pleasure, and their blood.John Adams, A Dissertation on the Canon and Feudal Law, 1765

The battle, Sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, Sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston! The war is inevitable; and let it come! I repeat, Sir, let it come!Patrick Henry

If men through fear, fraud or mistake, should in terms renounce and give up any essential natural right, the eternal law of reason and the great end of society, would absolutely vacate such renunciation; the right to freedom being the gift of God Almighty, it is not in the power of Man to alienate this gift, and voluntarily become a slave.John Adams, Rights of the Colonists, 1772

The distinctions between Virginians, Pennsylvanians, New Yorkers, New Englanders are no more. I AM NOT A VIRGINIAN, BUT AN AMERICAN!Patrick Henry, n.d.

I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death.Patrick Henry, n.d.

Resolved: That these colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent states, that they are absolved of all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the state of Great Britain is, and ought to be, totally dissolved. That it is expedient forthwith to take the most effectual measures for forming foreign Alliances. That a plan of confederation be prepared and transmitted to the respective colonies for their consideration and approbation.Richard Lee, Resolution in Congress, June 7, 1776

The God who gave us life gave us liberty at the same time; the hand of force may destroy, but cannot disjoin them.Thomas Jefferson, Rights of British America, 1774

If this be treason, make the most of it.Patrick Henry, n.d.

Nothing short of independence, it appears to me, can possibly do. A peace on other terms would..... be a peace of war.George Washington, Letter to John Banister, 1778

The hour is fast approaching, on which the Honor and Success of this army, and the safety of our bleeding Country depend. Remember officers and Soldiers, that you are free men, fighting for the blessings of Liberty -- that slavery will be your portion, and that of your posterity, if you do not acquit yourselves like men.George Washington, 1776

Where liberty dwells, there is my country.Benjamin Franklin

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it.Thomas Paine

There is a time for all things, a time to preach and a time to pray, but those times have passed away. There is a time to fight, and that time has now come.Peter Muhlenberg, from a Lutheran sermon read at Woodstock, Virginia, January 1776

Yesterday the greatest question was decided... and a greater question perhaps never was nor will be decided among men. A resolution was passed without one dissenting colony, that these United Colonies are, and of right ought to be, free and independent states.John Adams, Letter to his wife, Abigail Adams, July 3, 1776

We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately.Benjamin Franklin, (attributed) at the signing of the Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776

With hearts fortified with these animating reflections, we most solemnly, before God and the world, declare, that, exerting the utmost energy of those powers, which our beneficent Creator hath graciously bestowed upon us, the arms we have compelled by our enemies to assume, we will, in defiance of every hazard, with unabating firmness and perseverance employ for the preservation of our liberties; being with one mind resolved to die freemen rather than to live as slaves.John Dickinson and Thomas Jefferson, Declaration of the Cause and Necessity of Taking up Arms, July 6, 1775

I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.Nathan Hale, before being hanged by the British, September 22, 1776

I have not yet begun to fight!John Paul Jones, response to enemy demand to surrender, September 23, 1779

What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value.Thomas Paine, The American Crisis, No. 1, December 19, 1776

The Revolution was effected before the War commenced. The Revolution was in the minds and hearts of the people; a change in their religious sentiments of their duties and obligations. This radical change in the principles, opinions, sentiments, and affections of the people, was the real American Revolution.
John Adams

The war has actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms!Nathanael Greene, In an anonymous letter, 1781

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Law of Nature and Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776

Birthdays, birthdays, birthdays

Danica tagged Eve: Go to Wikipedia and put your birthdate (month and day only) in the search field. Now, list 3 events that happened on that day; 2 people who share your birthday; one person who died; one holiday or observance. Here's Eve’s: December 25.
1914 - World War I: Known as the Christmas truce, German and British troops on the Western Front temporarily cease fire. (Visitors to my old blog know I love this)

1939 - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is introduced by Montgomery Ward Stores. (Yeah Monkey Wards)

1977 - Prime Minister of Israel Menachem Begin meets in Egypt with President of Egypt Anwar Sadat

Birthdays:

1821 - Clara Barton, founder of the American Red Cross

1924 - Rod Serling

Death: (this would have to be a terrible day to have a loved one die)

1995 - Dean Martin (mother loves to listen to ol' Dino)

Holiday or observance – you haven’t figured that one out yet?

Loreth tagged Bailey: June 18 (well, that’s when I officially became Bailey)

1264 - The Parliament of Ireland meets at Castledermot in County Kildare, the first definitively known meeting of this Irish legislature.

1429 - French forces under the leadership of Joan of Arc crush the main English army under Sir John Fastolf at the Battle of Patay. This turns the tide of the Hundred Years' War.

1812 - War of 1812: The U.S. Congress declares war on the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland.

Birthdays:

1942 - Sir Paul McCartney, English singer and songwriter (The Beatles)

1966 - Kurt Browning, Canadian figure skater (I’ve always liked him)

Death:

1992 - Peter Allen, Australian singer and songwriter (b. 1944) (you didn't think I'd miss a chance to put up a picture of Hugh Jackman did you? Even if he is in his "Peter Allen" role from The Boy From Oz, for which he won a Tony)

Holiday or Observance:

Father's Day, US, UK, Chile (2006).

I'm supposed to tag 5 people, but since the upper part of this post is a repeat from April 8 (yes, I've already done this) and people were tagged then, I'll let you decide if you want to do this. And see Loreth, I did both. LOL

Waiting for A/C people to fix the unit. We have a window unit up in the dining room (one of the few rooms that have up/down windows instead of side sliders. Also the best for getting a straight shot to the other parts of the house. Then we have fans to help pull it down the hall. Not great - I would say for the most part marginally better than the attic fan was Sunday morning. I'm sleeping on the hide-a-bed in the living room as the ceiling fan in my bedroom is not working. We're keeping my bedroom door and the study door closed to help. Sweat is pouring down my face as I sit here. Fortunately, I made up Monday and Tuesday's blogs Sunday morning, so I just have to come in here and post them. I will not be on the blogs (unless is cool enough in the morning to get some done) as the computer puts out too much heat - plus this room is like a sauna and that means maybe even Jill's. Will call the A/C people Monday morning - we just couldn't afford to pay Sunday overtime. Gotta get out of here - so ...

Book draw:
Jeanne

The answer to the somewhat bonus question was Life without the alarm clock - I was so sure that someone would say "Oh, she made that one up" that I had Bebo look at my bulk file to validate that it was there. You kind of surprised me when you didn't jump on it. Brandy is the only one that mentioned it, so she gets her book too. I'm hoping to get to the post office this week (obviously I have to wait for the A/C people Monday).

Okay, I've had it. Bye for now. Behave.

Brain Cells to Go

I have only two brain cells left. I call them Morning and Evening. I’m not sure what happened to the others, but I think a couple have taken off for Tahiti since I’ve received strange postcards signed by Monday and Tuesday. I’d wondered what happened to those two days. You notice that they’re called Morning and Evening. That means nobody’s on duty in the afternoon, that’s why I sleep. I know they’re lonely up there – I’ve tried to get friends for them, but it’s no use – not even blind dates work. What’s a lonely brain cell to do on a Saturday night? Then there was the personal ad debacle. Every time I set up an ad for a single white brain cell (SWBC) I kept getting hooked up with the phone company. Then I tried single person requires intelligent neural transmitters (SPRINT) – I can hear a lot clearer now. But still they’re lonely, they’re tired, they’re at the end of their rope. I know it’s my fault. I’ve neglected them, they’ve grown flabby and out of shape. Is there a Jenny Craig for brain cells? I have to go now, I’m getting a headache. I think I sprained one.

Sleeping with Cats

1. If you are under the covers, never, NEVER, move your feet, unless you are wearing steel-lined booties.
2. Expect at some point in the night to become a speed bump on the NASCAT circuit.
3. When the temperature is the hottest, the cat that gives off the most body heat will be glued to your side.
4. Waking up with a cat butt in your face is not that unusual. Waking up being stared down by a cat is also common.
5. If a bug, rodent, etc is caught in the middle of the night, they will bring it to bed with them.
6. You really didn’t want to move that leg did you?
7. Make sure that every cover you want is on you before the cat gets on the bed. Otherwise, forget it.
8. They will decide at some point during the night that “mommy’s” face MUST be washed.
9. The earlier you have get up is proportional to the amount of noise they make AND how late they make it.
10. Fur balls are not always optional.
11. If a cat must throw up, he/she will insist on doing it on the bed. Especially if the sheets are clean.
12. Your side of the bed is much more appealing than theirs.
13. A cat has to bathe itself frequently, and they just have to do it next to your face at 1:00 a.m., loudly.
14. Sleeping in is an unknown concept.
15. If you have more than one cat, be prepared to be tied down much like Gulliver on Lilliput.
16. Cat’s breath can be almost as bad as a dog’s.
17. Moving fingers ARE a target.
18. Those are their pillows, get your own. And then they will be their pillows too.
19. No matter where you are laying, you will always be in the path of where they are going.
20. Don’t even bother switching to the couch … they’ll follow you.

And don't forget that this is bookdraw weekend. Look at Friday's post for the backstock list and just tell me which one you want. And you might want to read the comments while you are there as there's sort of a second silly contest going on.